The Mommy Journey

Step by step I grow as he grows

12 weeks later – looking back – part 2

Part 1 here

We get to the hospital and by then little trickles of reality are setting in, it’s all still a little surreal (can something be a little surreal?). Not wanting to be cliched I try and find a diplomatic way of telling the clerks at reception that my water broke. I can’t say “I am in labour”, I don’t feel like I am. I said something, I don’t recall now what it was. I do recall telling them I wasn’t going to sit down on their chair because it could get messy. That seemed to speed up the process and up I went to maternity. I was given a gown and a clean pad by a lovely nurse named Dorkes. Yes, that really is her name and she was so sweet the whole way through. To my dismay the fluid was now a little bit greener but when the nurse checked it she still referred to it as a “green tinge” which immediately settled my nerves.

I was strapped up to the monitor for a few minutes and all looked well, except that he wouldn’t sit still for very long and we kept moving the belt around, changing my position, restarting the process. All this meant we missed any sign that something was wrong, until my OB came to check up on me an hour or so later. My whole day turned on a word, well 2 to be honest, “pea soup”. That is how my OB described what my amniotic fluid was looking like. Which meant he was still pooing which meant there was some kind of distress. Then reality hit, I wasn’t getting the vaginal birth I so desperately wanted. I tried to buy enough time for TheHusband to be done, I got told the most I could have was 2 hours. If by then I hadn’t dilated more than 2cm at 13h15 I was going into theater, otherwise I was putting the baby at risk. I agreed, of course I did, my baby’s health was more important than anything else in the whole universe. Then I did what any self respecting pregnant woman, unsure of what was to come and totally off track from her birth plan, would do…I started to cry. I learned later that TheConcierge, while totally calm in the room with me, met my mom at the hospital entrance crying. I cried because I wanted a vaginal birth, I cried because my husband wasn’t there, I cried because my Doula would never make it, I cried because we really did not have the money for an emergency C/section, I cried because I was scared.

At 12h30 after 3 attempts of getting an anti-biotics drip in, my doctor came in, checked my cervix and found me still at 2cm and the liquid still getting greener. No more stalling, the breaks were coming off and I was being wheeled away, my mom by my side, waving at the rest of my family sitting in reception. Wheeled into the elevator, down to pre-op where I filled in some forms, and then Dr B the anesthesiology comes in to explain the spinal, that I may feel my blood pressure drop and that it was totally normal, they have something to give me for that. That I may feel nausious and that too is totally normal and they have something to give me for that, oh and there is a slight change, but it only happens in 15% of cases (see I told you that number comes up again) that I will feel extremely cold and shivery. There is nothing they can do about that.

Into theater we go, my mom goes off for a few minutes to dress in scrubs, I get told to sit on the edge of the bed and hold still…yeah right, have you ever tried to hold still when a needle goes into your spine? Then everything starts to tingle and moving is difficult. I get helped into a horizontal position. Blood pressure drop Checked box symbol Nausea Checked box symbol Cold and Shivers Checked box symbol and Checked box symbol. The metal frame gets put down, Dr B puts a new drip in (the 3rd one came out of the vein and started filling tissue with saline and antibiotics) the cloth goes over and the tugging and pulling begins.

To be continued…

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12 weeks later – looking back – Part 1

12 weeks ago today everything started, 19 days earlier than expected. The Saturday night before I felt weird, out of place in my own body and I had this niggly feeling that there was a leak, I was running to the bathroom every 30 minutes instead of every hour or so and this carried on while I was attempting to sleep. My heart raced a little and I tweeted my feelings. Most people told me to relax and that I would know for sure if it was time. The next day my mom told me that if I could hold it in it wasn’t my water. This coupled with “What to expect” informing me that only 15% of the time the water breaks before contractions start…remember that number, it comes up again.

I spent Sunday strolling around Canal Walk searching for pajamas, feeding bras and a bath mat. My mother, my gran and I left the shopping center empty handed, my gran and I ready to collapse from exhaustion. In the back of my mind the little voices were at it again “good Hila, walk more, it’s a great way to self induce”.

Hold on! I need to rewind to the Wednesday before for just a moment. I had been at my OB/Gyn for my now weekly appointment and we had found him engaged and my cervix at 2cm. Great, now we can continue with you having a greater understanding of the root of my mild paranoia.

The Sunday night was much like the Saturday only that, by the 5am pee run, I had managed to convince myself the it was just paranoia, that women on forums I was reading had been at 2cm for a while, one woman was stuck there for going on 4 weeks, what was I worried about and then…I got up. You know how “they” say Hollywood exaggerates? That water doesn’t woosh down between your legs like a dam breaking? That all that is for dramatic effect? Well “they” lie! It even SPLASHED. I started giggling like a mad woman. I giggled because of the drama of it, I giggled because I was right, I giggled because in the infancy of TheHusband and my relationship, at 5am I called him to come take me to the hospital for a tummy bug, I giggled because I was scared. Then I did the rational thing and got a pad and underwear, called my sister (TheConcierge) to come babysit me (TheHusband had to go work, he is a tourist guide so not exactly something you can take compassionate leave for) and called my boss to tell him I wouldn’t be able to come in.

I informed my Doula, who was in Sun City on conference and she told em to do exactly what I planned to do. Stay home and wait it out until you absolutely have to go to the hospital. I was overwelmed by the love and luck wishing on Twitter. Facebook too but Facebook is full of friends I had already and they are meant to be supportive, Twitter was full of friends I made only recently. I got up for some or other reason and again WOOSH. I went to go change my pad and noticed something slightly disturbing, there was a green tinge to the fluid coming out. I knew from ante natal classes that my baby was pooing in his swimming pool and the best thing to do was head to hospital to be monitored. So TheConcierge helped me down, the hospital bag already in her car (which I had been driving for a while since her steering wheel sat further back) and off we went, calling my mom, my dad, my Doula and my husband as we went. Still calm, still tweeting away, still grinning like a mad woman.

To be continued…

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